Building Your Wellness Toolkit: Our Experts' Tips

Your Safe Space is all about finding the people, objects and rituals you can rely on to help weather the individual challenges we face everyday.

We think of this as a mental wellbeing toolkit - a selection of support tools you can call upon when needed. For some people, this toolkit will look like meditation, close friends, a spinning ring. For others it might be medication, family, a breathing pendant. Everyone’s toolkit will look different. Some people will use theirs every day, others in specific times of need.

So how do you go about building this toolkit? At our Retreat Day, we turned to two of our most trusted voices in mental wellness: psychotherapist Anna Mathur and Dr Alex George.

In candid conversation, they shared their most important tips on cultivating strong mental fitness and building your own support practices and networks.

Ask the experts: supporting mental health

How could someone start building their own mental wellness toolkit?

Dr Alex: “If you're looking to build your own mental wellbeing toolkit, the important thing is to realise - what is it that you need in the support that you're looking for? Are you looking to feel calmer, more at peace, less anxious?

Build tools that support that. It could be going out in nature, listening to music, reading - things that make you feel like you can escape the stresses that you're facing.

Anna: “Start thinking about what makes you feel safe, supported and calm.

It's so easy to look around you, to look at social media, to see what other people have in their mental health toolbox, but the most important thing is to think what is right for you. It might be the bubble bath, it might be the run, for someone else it might be meditation - but add the things that you love to your toolbox.”

Dr Alex: “Yes, work out what works for you. My toolkit is probably going to look different to yours, and that's okay! And if something doesn't work, get rid of it and bring something new in.

What about if someone is feeling overwhelmed? Is there anything immediate we can do to help feel better in that moment?

Dr Alex: “The first thing you can do is bring yourself back to your breath. The breath connects our conscious and subconscious mind. We are breathing without thinking most of the time, but bringing ourselves back to our breath helps to ground us.

When you're overwhelmed, your brain is spiraling. You might be worrying about the future - perhaps the past as well - and you are not in the present.

Take a deep breath in, focus on the breath, then exhale. Ground yourself, close your eyes and take a few short breaths. Really concentrate on how it feels to breathe. If you do that for a few minutes, you'll find yourself being much calmer and more grounded.

Another tip you can use is just to take a time out. Get outside, if you can, for a moment. Be in nature. Take a physical moment to get yourself out of that stress. We did this a lot in the hospital, actually, and it really did help. Just take a breath, and take yourself out of the environment you're in.”

Anna: “There are some really small and realistic steps that you can take. Number one is write everything down. Take everything out of your mind and write it down on a piece of paper - because sometimes we don't even realise how much, or even what, we're carrying. It just feels too much, so to see it all written down can help it feel clearer, can help you decide what you are going to address.

The second thing is if you're feeling overwhelmed is to think - how can I simplify life for myself at the moment?Maybe you just cross some things off your list all together, maybe you delegate something out, maybe you decide to cut a corner. I think corner cutting is a very valid form of self-care. How can you make it easier for yourself right now?

Do you have a mantra or lesson you reach for or repeat?

Anna: “A wellness mantra that I'm using all the time at the moment is “I am safe”. I think sometimes when we're running at one hundred miles an hour, we're full of all those stress hormones, we're literally living like we're being chased by a bear. So I remind myself that I am safe - I'm just in my home, I'm just at my desk, I'm not under threat.

Just that little mantra can really help ground me. Slow down your speech, slow down your movement, remind your body that you are safe.”

Dr Alex: “One of my favourite mantras is "this too shall pass". A mantra is a phrase or collection of words that empower us and help us feel grounded. A mantra can also help us feel connected with our sense of purpose and our values.

For me, "this too shall pass" helps me realise that the moment I'm in is not going to last forever. That even if I’m facing a challenge, this feeling will pass. The thing I'm facing will pass and I'll come through the other side. This knowledge has helped me through many challenges.”

Mental wellness: a key message

What is the one thing you wish people knew about mental health?

Dr Alex: “The one thing I wish people knew about mental health is this: every single person on this planet has it! If you're breathing, if you have a heartbeat, if you're awake and you're cognitive, you have mental health. You have feelings, emotions and thoughts. I think a common misconception about mental health is that it means mental illness, and I think this is quite problematic. If we say ‘okay, one in four people have mental health’ there's a feeling that the other three people don't need to work on it or think about it - and this isn’t true.

Just like physical fitness, mental fitness is a thing and you can build it up over time. This is helpful to help prevent illness, but also to maximise your experience of life. Of course, we can't control the cards we're dealt with in terms of our genetics, the place we were born, the environment. But what we can do is work to build our mental fitness. Just like going to the gym to build physical fitness, you can build fitness in the mind too. And this is absolutely vital.

So if I could get people to understand one thing it is that everyone has mental health. Mental illness will, of course, be part of some people's experience, but mental health is something everyone can build. And if you do that, it'll probably enrich your life.”

Anna: “I’m going to echo Alex here - the one thing I wish people knew is that we all have mental health!

I had a client say to me once, ‘I don’t have mental health.’ She meant that she didn’t have mental health problems, but we all have mental health just as we do physical health, and it fluctuates. Tend to your mental health the same as you would your physical health - it has the same value.”

Finding calm, together

What does community mean to you? How could someone build a strong community around them?

Anna: “Community is so important for mental health, because as humans we're wired for community. We need each other, we cannot do everything and meet every need on our own.

One way to build that community is to take little risks of openness and vulnerability. Think about those two or three people in your life who have always been kind and supportive, and just decide to share that little bit more with them next time you chat. That is how you will start building and deepening that community that you so need around you.”

Dr Alex:​​ “I completely agree. Here's a fact that really shocks me every time I think about it: being lonely is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. But the opposite is incredibly empowering: connection is incredible for our sense of wellbeing. Belonging to community, feeling that you have people around you that love and care about you, helps us feel centered and able to enjoy life.

To cultivate community, think about what values you have that you want to see in other people. Consider what environments you enjoy. How do you want to connect and meet with those people? How can you develop a meaningful relationship with other humans that share your purpose and values in life?

It's not about having lots and lots of friends. Community is vital, and we can build it.”

How could someone support a loved one who is struggling with their mental health?

Dr Alex: “We often want to make things better, and the temptation is to just dive in there if your friend or family member is in a difficult place and say - it's going to be fine! But actually, the most powerful thing you can do is just hold space for them. To say - "I don't have all the answers, I don't necessarily know everything that you're feeling, but I'm here to support you. Let's face it together."

You might ask: what are the options? Who have you talked to to get support so far? Or you can just be that friend that says, do you know what? It might be difficult right now, but we'll get through it together.”

Anna: "The best way to help someone struggling with their mental health is to remove the pressure. You might want to send them a message, let them know that you care about them, that you're thinking about them, that you're there for them - but remove the pressure for them to reply.

Maybe you invite them to meet up and they don't get back to you, but just as long as they know that you're there and available, when they feel ready to talk or open to meeting up, they will know that you are there. You may well be one of the first people that they call."

Finding Your Safe Space

What piece from the Your Safe Space collection would you add to your own mental wellbeing toolkit?

Anna: "This is easy - I would choose the spinning ring! I already have two, and I normally wear one on my thumb and one on my finger. I love them for those moments when I feel like I've got a bit of anxious energy, stress or tension. When I find myself spinning them, it is really grounding and really soothing. And these rings are really beautiful, as well!"

How do you think the Your Safe Space collection is going to help support our own community’s mental wellbeing?

Dr Alex: “The idea of having words, sentences and meanings that can help you get through difficult times is really powerful.

In a moment of difficulty - even just a passing few minutes where you've become overwhelmed - seeing something like this can make all the difference. Seeing those words that help get you through. So I think that's absolutely beautiful, and it's a gorgeous range.”

Thank you so much to Dr Alex George and Anna Mathur for their advice, friendship and support.

You can watch their full interviews below - we hope you enjoy them!